X-Factor & My Own Personal Stalker
The �x� continues to confide vast amounts of information that she wont� divulge even to her �bestest� type friends about her sort of semi-x fianc�. In keeping with my theme of being open and honest, I apologized to her for not being as giving with my information about whom I happened to be �dating� this week. And I, of course, use dating very loosely as I have been on exactly one official date since July and that was last weekend. In hindsight, I should not have gone on this venture, as my companion for this outing was the crush I continue to pen letters to. Regardless of how I verbalize or document exactly what I am feeling and doing, she refuses to go away and I am now becoming concerned that I may have picked myself out a stalker. At least my other two �love interests� (again a loosely used term) are much more mundane.
Anytime that I am unable to �hang out� and placate their needs, they just get pissed for a period of time usually no longer than 24 hours and demand reciprocation in the form of extra sexual gratification. In plain English; they simply request marathon sex sessions for not being readily available and at their respected beckon calls.
But here I go, digressing again�
The �x� finally inquired as to why I was sharing nothing more than generalizations about what and whom I have been doing. My response, more or less:
The details of who and why are quite inconsequential, sometimes they change on a weekly basis. I�m interested in doing nothing more than meeting new people to tell stories of and to, as it turns out, these new editions are mostly female in gender. I couldn�t possibly continue to meet hordes of women and continue upon my semi-charmed life of having fun with few commitments that I can actually control and accomplish IF I am towing an anchor in a physically manifested form of a significant other.
To which she retorted, �huh?�
With a deep sigh of frustration and yet another reminder as to why I can and should have been just her friend this entire time, I play the roll of teacher, mentor, prophet and translator and state, �Babe! I can�t keep having fun if I settle on just one girl. And because there isn�t just one girl, it is pointless to discuss what might not be around tomorrow.�
I am actually starting to suffer the first effects of stress related to the connection I have made with the new crush and her refusal to heed my wishes that I do not, can not and will not explore this further. She fails to grasp the concept that I seriously don�t have time to spend talking with her on a daily basis. My own roommates don�t even talk to me everyday for crying out loud. Without further Apu, my revised comunicae:
Dear Crush,
I have been as straightforward with you as I possibly can.
I am not worth the trouble you are putting yourself through & do not have the time or energy to try and explain it to you anymore than I already have.
I did my best to prepare and warn you of the consequences and repercussions that come with playing in my world. I have opened your eyes, now use them to see.
Any insistences on discussing �what ifs� and anything else that would involve an �us� that will never be will only serve to irritate and creep me out, and definitely make me not want to spend time with you in any form.
If you won�t play the game by the rules, then we won�t be playing it at all.
So you can either reign in your emotions and kick it with me like everyone else in my life does or you can go away.
This is the only choice you have and I am not going to apologize for hurting you, because I did that the first time we met.
Regards
Martin
***
I mean geez, all I have asked for over the past few months is just a little piece and then a little peace now and again. It would seem, dearest of diaries, that this is just too much to ask of society. Curses, it seems I am foiled again.
Comments Are Always Appreciated!
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com