Doctor Reccomended
I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I have now heard everything. Perhaps not to go that far, I have heard just about everything there is to say about assholes. And just for clarification purposes, when I say 'assholes' i mean the body part, not the people. Even though I have heard quite a lot about these people as well.
But to the point; Selsan (spelling?) Blue is good for your asshole. It comes doctor reccomended to treat dandruff, but it also apparently has another use that up until last night I was not aware of.
We were stoned and nursing round and after round of beer at the best bar on earth, soaking up the cool desert night and people watching to our hearts content. The subject was broached whilst I was seeing a man about a horse, so I can't even tell you how it came up. The bottom line simply being, a doctor that gets waxed at the same salon that a friend does shared the secret to his squeaky clean butt crack; selsan blue on a loofa sponge, once a day while you shower. Not only does it make your 'down-there' regions tingle, it takes care of cleaning the bacteria that gives your ass it's normal odd discoloration. It goes without saying that your ass is a pretty gnarly part of your body based on the whole defecation and methane expulsion functions. You can imagine, dearest of diaries, that our boisterous discussion drew quite a lot of attention and had hordes of drunks swearing they were going to try it out.
Personally, I dismissed the banter as urban legend, ordering a couple of Irish car bombs to wipe clean my memory, just to be sure. But somewhere between late last night and the PM today, I ended up with a bottle of this stuff and it is now awaiting me and my morning shower.
Funny thing about your asshole is that it's not something that you normally can take a look at, without utilizing some sort of method that requries contortion, mirrors and quite a lot of effort on your part.
Unless of course you happen to say...oh...I don't know...video tape yourself having sex. In which case, depending on camera angles and lighting, you can get a very good view of your asshole with very little effort, contortion or mirrors.
I would really like to say that I learned something this weekend. But considering I just watched myself have sex and am planning on bathing with dandruff shampoo come tomorrow, it's a little hard to take my self seriously right now.
Broken-down phallus and rectal hygene; am I on a roll or what?
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