Slow News Day
Man Finds Amusement Even On Slow News day
March 31st, 2004
AP � Tempe, AZ � A local man has been reported as getting �entirely too much joy� out of the suffering of others after reading strange news stories on a slow news day. While gaining entertainment and gut splitting laughs form news stories are not rare occurrences, the stories that are garnishing these guffaws are.
�I just immediately let out a high pitched cackle as soon as I saw the headline�, the yet to be identified resident was overheard saying. �I mean come on, �parents charged for getting child high�, who wouldn�t find at least a little bit of amusement in that?� He continued, �the best part was the mental pictures of the grandparents placing the little guy on the ground and watching him try and focus his eyes and repeatedly falling down as he tried to book it to his bowl of cheerios with no milk! I know I�ve had days like that!�
But his shenanigans didn�t stop there. �Did you hear about the brain tumor guy who jumped out of a plane on his birthday with no parachute?�, questioned the over stimulated Arizonian, �it�s amazing!�
The ranting continued, �So after this guy plunges out of the plane, he hits a bunch of power wires and trees while people are watching and then, *POW*, he lands right on some poor souls patio!�
Much to the chagrin of his colleagues located within ear shot, he crosses the line again adding, �So I couldn�t help but think to myself, �did he bounce a couple of times like when parachutes don�t open or did he just flat out splat because the power lines and trees broke his fall so to speak�?� But his parting shot was the comment that caused onlookers to gape in horror and shake their heads in dismay, �could imagine having to clean up that mess off your patio? You won�t ever hear me complain about sweeping up my front porch ever again!�
No one claiming to be friends or even casual acquaintances of the un-identified heathen could be found, but one disgusted on-looker did muse, �man that guys fucked up. Where does he come up with this shit?�
Comments Are Always Appreciated!
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com