Can't Fear The Reaper
Today I finally got around to writing a needed email to Cassius and requesting that he stop by at some point so I can tell him to dissapear, permanently. I have advised the 'x' that she needs to keep me appraised of if/when she meets someone new so that I can share in the excitement and make my self scarce as not to interfere with anyone new in her life. Publicly this is my stance, privately I just want her to find someone else to lean on. As it stands, I'm really the only thing holding her up and pointed in the right direction. And also I'm the only thing that is keeping her from falling into a crippling depression that could cost her everything she has worked so hard for. While I don't mind beng her emotional crutch to lean on, as I am quite good at such endeavors, the "other" part of our current arrangement is much harder to get out of. Her finding someone else would give me the perfect excuse to slip quickly and quietly away into a life of pre-chosen chasity or at the barest of minimums, let me find someone else to fuck.
The fineal part of my day, finds me dealing with work related issues. In addition to the normal plate full 'o crap I have to deal with, there is an agent on my team who is "on the fence" so to speak and my observations over the past week will determine if we keep her or show her the door.
I am in a particularly foul and mean spirited mood. While I have learned to not let my emotions effect my dealings and desicions with in my corporate conglomeration, I do allow it to effect how much I enjoy something or not.
I volunteered to take care of the termination personally. I hope she cries.
I told you, dearest of diaries, that I don't really care for people much, now didn't I?
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