Ego Down, We've Got An Ego Down!
The ole ego took a body blow below the belt this week. You know the feeling, one of those moments where all the air rushes out of your body in a great big, WWWHHOOOOSSSSHHHH. The vivacious, overly intelligent, super hot chick I met a couple of weeks back lowered the boom and knocked me off my pedastel. And while she did admit I am unlike any man she has met in a while, this unfortunately doesn't help her (or me for that matter) predetermined mindset on the type of man she is attracted to. In short, because I am not some sort of tragically defunct artist type, with mongoloid tendecies, I am unable to light a fire in the appropriately determined bodily areas for her. Add to this a new found freedom (unchained from the bonds of a long term relationship) and the fact that she is just plumb fucking hot, any hopes at meandering past a purely plutonic level were torpeoed and sunk faster than the Lusatania.
There were times in my life (as recently as a couple of weeks ago actually) where upon receiving this type of honest feedback, my shattered ego would have responded with a harsh retort intent on inflicting mental trauma; or at the barest of minimums I just would have been a dick to chase away the responsible party. New focus that I continue to paritally thank my vacation and re-admission to the world of reality (i.e. not toking up) has had me soften my stance, if only ever so slightly, when interacting with the human race. Rare gems that display massive amounts of intelligence are something to covet, even if I have to gaze at them through a display case instead of rubbing them all over my naked body. I analyzed her words, found tons of common ground including parellel lives in our dating worlds and extended a hand in friendship, instead of trying to unhook her bra with it.
I know this is not a sign of growing up, as I've done just about all the growing up I'm going to do for now. Until something life altering like reproduction (perish the thought) or death of one or more of my parents happens (unlikely for at least a decade) I'm pretty happy with where I am (estiamted age of 18-21).
Collecting people is what I do and one of the things I do best and one can never have too many super-intelligent beings to call friend. If I was finally able to actually meet one hot chick with a big brain in a bar, then logic dictates, I'm bound to eventually meet others, possibly even in a bar.
Though my ego is a fragile thing, subject to doubts and pitfalls, it's called an ego for a reason. I would be kidding myself and you, dearest of diaries, if I didn't admit, it's hard to keep a big ego down.
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