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Doctor Best-friend In The Whole Wide World Is: IN

2004-07-07_xx_12:22 p.m.


Despite the bad taste left in my mouth (and the stain on my passenger seat) from the antics of the one that is short, I decided to persevere and continue to offer my friendship and wise ways to her. She has come as close as she ever will to almost admitting that she needs a friend like me in her life, because�well�quite frankly most of her friends are pretty fucking stupid. The weekend prior to the holiday one just past, found her on consecutive first dates that ended in mini-disasters each time. Both times she was questioned about her friends and lifestyle and she laid it out for each homey letting them know she was not the type of girl they were going to lash to their bumper and drag around whenever they felt like it. Furthermore, she does her own thing and has tons of friends, three of the bestest of which happen to all be guys. There is the serious one who helps her with computer related issues, but isn�t really good with manners of the heart. There is the mechanically inclined one who is just plain dumb and then there is the smart funny one, who cheers her up and offers advice and perspective when things go wrong.

Woo Hoo! I�m a best friend again!

All right, I�m not really bitter about that, seeing as how I have been trying to get classified as persona non grata in her love life for some time and rebuffed her drunken phone calls to �keep her company� time and time again. And even though there were setbacks and frustrating instances where she was Mrs. Burger King and insisted on having it her way, I offered what I could for her. When her dates go horribly wrong, I�m a shoulder to cry on. On the rare occasions when I�m sober and she is shit-faced I motor her ass home. She cheers me up when I am down and every so often we�ll kick it and cook each other dinner and do best friend type stuff. The main sticking point and frustration factor is that she uses sex like most women I know use chocolate; for comfort, security and that little burst of pleasure that makes everything ok, if even just for a hour or so.

This past holiday weekend, she had yet another first date and when my Friday night was coming to a close, I prepared myself for the barrage of phone calls. By the time Sunday rolled around, I was helping the �x� pack and move, fulfilling yet another aspect of my best friend obligations with her when the realization sank in that the expected phone calls from the one that is short had yet to manifest. I mentioned this in passing to the �x� and she threw out a haphazard guess, �well maybe she is still on her date��

Wednesday morning rolls around and the one that is short saunters in (the little fucker got an extra day to her holiday weekend) and we start to converse. Not only does she shock me by advising that she is STILL on her first date, but she also introduced the guy to her family, spent all four of her vacation days with him and he has now moved into her place while he searches for his own. It took a lot of restraint not to smack her senses back into her tiny little frame and listen to her explanation before actually speaking. She wiped away almost every response I had pulled forth when the far away look of first love sunk into her eyes. She stared past me (I looked over my shoulder to check, btw), clasped her hands to her perky little breasts and let out a bigger sigh of contentment than any orgasm could ever bring and stated, �I can�t remember the last time something felt so right.�

Yeah, so I fucking melted at that point, because in all the time I�ve known this girl, she has never had that look or said that about anybody. The hopeless romantic part of my personality and the belief that, �some day my princess will come� didn�t help me either. I welled up with tears right there in the parking lot with her, exclamations of �oh babe, I�m so happy�� and �that is the sweetest thing�� slipped out of my mouth. I gave her a hug and while she began spewing details about her weekend, I zoned out and remembered the last time (or in this case times) I felt such an instant connection�and how badly almost all of the examples that sprung to mind, ended. Rather than be a naysayer or a buzz-kill, I simply let her know that they were both going WAY too fast and being the pessimistic fucker I am, I let her know that the magic is going to wear off at some point and to at least try to stay a LITTLE bit grounded; my statements of enjoyment for her finally finding happiness were genuine, albeit, very doubt filled.

Wait did I just say �welled up with tears?�...err�what�I�ummm�meant to say was that I told her, �Look bitch, you�re fucking mad if you think you are ever going to find true love. It doesn�t exist, it is nothing but an illusion dreamed up by Hallmark, the Government and Hollywood in order to bleed one more dollar out of your dwindling bank account, while you desperately cling to a long life, being taxed for every penny, holding on to the fading hope that �true love� will one day find you. And you are a delusional dreamer if you disagree. What in the hell does a little slut like you know about love anyway?�

Between being a hopeless romantic and my beliefs that love is dead it is no wonder, dearest of diaries, that I am still single.

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