But Where Did This Get Me?
in regards to my "PANTS LESS OBSERVATION "
and my �FRIDAY ADVENTURE DITTY�; so i like met this girl...
which is shitty, cuz of all the girls i could have met, this is the last kind that i wanted to meet. well at least, that is, i totally didn't want to meet a nice girl in a hook up bar.
this woman is really smart and like getting her PHD smart. so smart in fact, she took my self-centered visions of political zen and encouraged me to ramble, VERY drunkenly I might add, for a good number of hours. She was so on top of what I was saying, dropping Hobbes & Lockes notations on me in a manner that made my already taxed brain overload and reminded me of text based conversations from days of yore, with my dearest Rhoeng.
In my little world you get UBER bonus points for being able to talk (and make sense) about material that normally sober people couldn't grasp when you are three sheets to the wind at 4Am in the morning. Also in my own little world, skinny, dorky, socially retarded introverts, stand idly in corners while beautiful (and super intelligent!) women flock to them and ooze compliments about their Seed Racer T-shirt and their ability to move their feet and keep a beat when they dance. Run-on sentences are all the rage and it's ok to be good in bed as long as you are better at something that requires you to think deeply and write well.
so yeah, like this girl i met? that's her little world too. but yours truly had to meet her in a place of debauchery and carnal sin, instead of a bookstore, or coffee shop or even the worldwide web.
after hours of drunken and egotistical ramblings, flexing my self-abosrbed brain power about all things political that i could coax out of my super-sponge cranium, i remember to ask her something about herself..."so...ummm...exactly what are you getting you PHD in?"
"why Political Science my good man!" i was totally fucked.
my soapbox collapsed underneath me and come the morning it was broken beyond repair when I woke up...sober...and put together what had transpired. in my zeal to flex my prowess i had inadvertanly, brushed aside or easily answer most of her darts that were thrown to gauge my understanding of topics she had been schooling over for the better part of a decade making a lasting impression i am wholly unprepared for. and on top of that, she was really fat.
now please understand or so says my disclaimer. while i have certain set standards, little "somethin, somethin's" about women that drive my rocket, i am by no means THAT self-centered. i am often doted upon by female friends for thinking a non-super model, playboy bunny, paris hilton shaped girl as really fucking hot. the truth of the matter is, i'm a skinny mother fucker and bumping uglies with my body double, doesn't exactly hold a lot of appeal for me. not to say that i am beyond such things, but i want a girl shaped like a woman damn it! pudge and paunch are part of reality; shit it's not exactly like every girl with a pretty face, winning smile and a nice ass has to be able to shop at 5,7,9.
so you must understand, when i say this girl was fat, she is probably a lot larger version than your original mental picture led you to beleive.
and here i sit, saddled with a woman who is completely enamored with me and i'm not into her beyond a friendly basis. i know that she is smitten, not because of ego, but because with age comes wisdom and i know that "fuck me eyes" can also be misinterpreted as "i would give you my soul" eyes. to make matters infintly worse she has seen my penis and really likes it. because I didn't sleep with her she likes it even more.
to end this little tirade about totally looking for love in all the wrong places, in case you were wondering, i did do the stand-up thing and called her. even if i can't be her knight in shining armor, i really am a nice guy.
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