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Whore

2004-12-10_xx_8:03 a.m.


Last night in a feat of debauchery I will likely never top again, I fullfilled a life long dream of sucking face with an african-american girl.

Unfortunately for yours truly she weighed in somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 pounds.

I also came very close to taking the afore mentioned girl and her punk rock friend of similar proportions home with me for a carnal three some that my bed most likely would not have survived.

It was, to date, the most actioned packed and strangest five minutes I have ever spent in a bar. As you might imagine, I was intoxicated to the point of incoherency.

Fittingly, I arrived home puked my guts out and awoke this A.M. on my bathroom floor.

The ribbing I will receive from my friends over the coming weeks is going to top the pounding in my head by leaps and bounds. Pray with me, dear reader, that I was too drunk to give out my cellular contact number.

I'm afraid, very afraid.

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